(Oops, I forgot to write even a short post yesterday.)
I’ve been thinking over the past few days about how I didn’t smile or laugh very much when I was younger. My mom would always say that I’m 무뚝뚝해 (which can be used to describe someone who is blunt or morose). People who know me now might be surprised by this because I would say I’m someone who generally laughs a lot (and LOUDLY).
But I can clearly remember there would be a few times when I was a kid that, out of the blue, I would just start laughing and not be able to stop. And this wouldn’t be mere chortles or giggles, but full-on, rolling on the-floor, can’t breathe, slapping the knee, and tears in my eyes-type laughter. These sudden bouts of hilarity were usually unprompted (like, nothing funny had happened or been said). One time, I was eating dinner with my family and I started laughing like this. My family members just sort of looked at each other, wondering what’s going on, and then eventually left me at the table to calm down.
I would feel perplexed afterwards, especially since I was not a child who laughed freely and unabashedly like that. Whoa… Why did I laugh so hard? Why couldn’t I stop?
It wasn’t until after I came to really know Christ and have a genuine relationship with God that I came to know why. Sometime during college, God just randomly told me that the reason why I would laugh uncontrollably out of nowhere when I was younger was simply because He wanted to hear my laughter. I never laughed out loud a lot as a kid, so maybe God would nudge me here or there to get me to laugh. I felt like He delighted in that sound.
I was reminded of all of this earlier this week as someone asked me to think about what God’s favorite thing about me is. When I asked God, He said that it was my laugh. Thankfully, He has filled my days with much laughter so He and I can enjoy in that sound together.